Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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