he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
