...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
