Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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