I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
how drunk are you?
Several
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
