It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
