last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize