I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i will never coherently bang her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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