i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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