Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
