after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
