don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
