I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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