operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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