Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
