have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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