It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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