its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
