How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
