We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
