why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's never too late to be topless.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my liver is dry heaving
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the raccoons are back...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
