last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
