nut hugger
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
