What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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