Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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