On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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