To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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