There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
