So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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