He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
