There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I cockslap morals
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
