it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
