I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
