he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
