am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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