Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
