Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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