If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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