i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize