i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
