I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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