So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
