i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
