C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
