is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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