It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
