Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
