what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize