Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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