Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
