i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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