im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
