haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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