Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
