I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
