His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He passed out mid-signature
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
