Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Randomize
