remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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