The best revenge is premature balding
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
