Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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