went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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