please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm passing your future prison.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
