: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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