4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
