My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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