I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
