I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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